Still Kicken'

Thursday, November 6th was my last day of radiation!!!! I feel like I have been microwaved, but that has only been the last 1 1/2 wks. Prior to that radiation was a breeze. It gets old going to the hospital everyday, but day by day you just check one more day off and eventually done! My hair is still growing in gray, so I will fix that this week. I am not complaining, at least it is hair. My eyelashes and eyebrows are back and I feel much better. I don't have to go to the doctor or hospital this week. The first time in 8 months! Next week I go back to the plastic surgeon and we start the expansion process over again. I hope to be reconstructed by December. Following that I have a doctors appointment every 3 months, (alternating radiologist and oncologist), I have a mammogram every 6 months, a Lupron shot every 3 months and Arimidex ($85/mo.!!!) pill every day. Things are definitely looking up.
Rylin had a softball tournament this weekend. The mighty father took all 4 kids and 1 extra to St. George by himself. I had state volleyball so I couldn't go. Our volleyball team took 6th, which was a great accomplishment. I am happy for the girls.
As of now radiation is over, volleyball is over, and Kai and Rylin don't have an extracurricular. What am I going to do with my time??? Ripken goes 100 mph., he is into and on top of everything. He will keep me busy for the next 5-18 yrs. I might have to start cooking dinners, whipping the kids back into a schedule and really cleaning the house. - Sounds like a real mom!

Britney and K-Fed rocked The EL (East Lehi)

We went to a party and Ang looked extremely "hot", she even wore a skirt she used to wear when we dated 16 years ago. Oh my!! Britney had her trusty umbrella in case there was any paparazzi, K Fed had some bling but he was pretty lame.

The Race Is On

We decided to have a race to see who could grow hair faster, I am afraid my hair will never grow back, Angie is winning. Picture taken on the 14th of September.

Cancer Sucks From Rylie, Kai, Hunter, Rip

Cool Sign until the notorious Lehi winds took it down.

Cake From The Erickson's

We had a little backyard party because "cancer sucks"

Furniture from Seth King

This is the piece of furniture that Seth built for Angie, He is building a special line of furniture and donating money from each piece sold to cancer research. Yes, it is the nicest piece of furniture we own.

Sept 26th

This week was a crazy doctor week. I absolutely hate going to the doctors. I don't want to see them and I don't want to take any medications. With that in mind I will tell you about this week... On Monday I went to the oncologist. She gave me a Lupron shot that shuts down my ovaries. I have to have this shot every 4 months. She also gave me a prescription for some inhibitors. Because the tumor is estrogen feeding, we have to shut down all estrogen. I also have to get a bone density scan because the medication put my body into an early menopause, so I will start losing bone density. The shot and pills are going to happen for the next 5 years!!!! Immediately after that I went to the plastic surgeon. He was checking my expander. He said all looked good. I told him I was starting radiation next week, so we decided to deflate my expander. He put in a needle and withdrew 6 syringes full of fluid from my breast. Now there is nothing. It is now an empty balloon, very beautiful visually! I was not prepared for that at all. On Thursday I met with the radiologist. Today I go to the hospital to get my tattoos for the lasers so that the radiation is in the exact spot.
Summary: 5 days, 4 doctors, 4 new perscriptions, 1 shot, no boob!
My meaningless whining is over. This is a good outlet. I am on the last step. Radiation for 6 weeks and I am done, except for more lovely doctors appointments. It was a bad week, but it is over.
I didn't post for so long because I was so negative. I am back to normal (I think). It is all working and the family is good! Thanks again to everbody.

September 12ish?

Recovery is fine and life is slowly moving on. On about the 12th the BYU baseball team had an alumni golf tournament and baseball game. Ryan told me I needed to be there for the baseball game. That night I had a volleyball tournament so I ran down there and waited for the game to start. They pulled all the players together and I was asked to come onto the field. One of Ryan's former players that we have stayed in contact with over the years, Seth King is now a contractor. At the golf tournament I guess he provided and end table that he had made for one of the prizes. I went down on the field and Ryan and I thanked the team for the support over the past few months and the alumni gave me a framed picture of them golfing and all of them signed it. It was really nice. Then Seth came out and said he wanted to do something with meaning behind it. Anyway, he brought out this beautiful dress/armoire that he had made. He is making a whole collection and named it the Angie Roberts collection. Witht the furniture he sells he is donating some of the proceeds to the American Cancer Foundation. It was neat for Ryan and I, there was so much sentiment behind it. It is kind of hard to grasp. I took pictures, when I download them I will post them. This was a wonderful positive to this circus of a year!

Sept. 8

Surgery is over! It is not as bad as I thought it would be. I was miserable that night and very nauseous. Now if I stay on top of my pain pills I can manage. I can't lift Ripken, so I pawn him off. My mom had him all weekend, Ali had him today and Jess will take him tomorrow. Hopefully by Wednesday I will be fine. I have a drain in right now, but look relatively normal. Coming out of anesthesia I could remember yelling at Ryan for a bucket and "Ang this is Colby are you going to remember that". When I came to, I thought I was crazy, but sure enough, one of Ryan's former players inserted my pain pump!! Little odd, but I did remember. I took this week off and so far just do a lot of sleeping, it feels good. The neighborhood has us well stocked with dinners.
Thanks again to everyone!

Surgery

Surgery scheduled for Friday, September 5th.

Hold On

Met with the radiologist and plastic surgeon, of course they did not agree. The radiologist wants to continue with 5 1/2 wks of radiation post surgery. The plastic surgeon will go in at the same time as the mastectomy and put in an expander to stretch my skin. It is deflated during radiation. When radiation is complete he will fill it to my desired breast size!! Then he will match the other side. No surgery date yet. Angie gave me some Chinese shampoo that is supposed to stimulated growth. My head looks like a peach! My eyebrows and eyelashes are continuing to fall out. I look horrible, lets get this over with!!
Reading over this, this is probably too much information! Oh well. I have no shame, I am an open book.

The Results!!!

MRI results came back with no signs of cancer! What a huge relief. Just waiting was a little stressful, but it is over with. This opened new options: 1) lumpectomy, possible disfigure, radiation 2) mastectomy, reconstruction, no radiation. As of now I opted for #2. I meet next week with the radiologist and plastic surgeon if they both agree we will try to have surgery on the 29th and reconstruction at the same time. I'm exhausted tonight, I will post again later, just wanted to share the good news!

August 7

ske




Change of plans: MRI 12th, consultation 14th! Now I am sick of waiting. A friend in my ward (Rachelle Livingston) took some pictures of me so she could do a water color painting. I am beyond worrying about what I look like. For memory sake and those of you I never get to see, and wondered what I look like bald, here are some pictures. Yes, I have big ears! I hated having my pictures done in this state, but I thought it would be good to look back on. I am truly grateful to her for doing this. The scarf is my church attire. Usually it is a scarf and hat.

I went to the DMV today to get a license renewal. I asked if I could use my last picture. The lady said, "Is there any reason you don't want your picture taken today?" Are you kidding, I about started to bawl!


I'll update after Thursday.

July 25th Finally

Finally chemo is done!!! I am sooo excited, 1 leg done 2 to go. I have another MRI on the 12th and my masectomy on the 14th. I could possibly have a lumpectomy, but in my mind if you are going to take a chunk you might as well take the whole thing then reconstruct. I don't want to do this again (obviously!!!). I will then have 33 radiation treatments to finish up. That is not suppose to be too bad just getting there is a pain. I will try to continue to work and do it at lunch. In a bout 6 months we can do reconstruction. I don't know I am thinking Pamela Anderson? Looking back it wasn't too bad, I am pretty lucky. I had a lot of outside support and help and my body stayed pretty strong. Now it is time to get my butt back in shape. Who gains weight with cancer?
Kai story of the month--- 7 yr old gang banger---He and Briggs found some field paint and decided to paint (I should say tag), choice words on the neighbors wood swingset. Kai had to sand for about 3 hrs. that night. 7:00 am day and 3 cans of stain later (Kai paid half) I hope he learned a lesson. He said "this sucks mom". My reply, "I guess you better go to college so you have other options." I am sure it is not the last time Kai gets in trouble.
Ryan took all the kids to Colorado for Kai's baseball tournament and I relaxed all week with Ripken. They are having a ball. I am reading, resting and eating out!!!

June 26th

Little to report: Chemo was on Tuesday this week. It was pretty standard. Ali, Jess and my mom all helped out while Ryan had camp. Ryan's sister, Angie, took the girls for a few days so I could rest. I feel so guilty. I have very little side effects this round. I feel really good. I guess you could say I am lucky??- I haven't been sick for a while and don't really have to miss much. If Ripken wakes up early we go on walks in the morning and Ali and I play tennis several times on my good week.
Life aside from cancer: Went to the Lehi horse parade (it's big time) tonight with the kids. Ryan will go with Rylin tomorrow for her games, and I will take Kai to his. Hunter stays busy with all her friends. Ripken is finally sleeping through the night, but goes 100 mph in the day. He has a great right arm, everything he touches he throws- shoes, balls, toys everything under the kitchen sink etc. Sometimes my house looks like a hurricane hit it. Does anybody have the energy for a 14 mo. old? He has learned how to climb up the neighbors play set?? He just learned to walk!
Anyway, love my kids, love my family.
Ang

5 Down, 3 to go!

5th treatment was a new drug. The side effects are sooooo much better. I can taste food again, smells don't bother me, and I don't feel nauseated. I had treatment on Wednesday. It took about 5 hrs. and they gave me Benadryl with it. Needless to say, I had a good nap! The next day Ryan's mom took the kids in the morning and that afternoon I went to volleyball camp. Thursday night my neck started to ache. The treatment causes muscle and bone aches. It slowly moves through my body, head to toe. I can deal with this. I just need a massage therapist! (Ryan doesn't quite cut it). Each treatment is suppose to get a little worse, but I am hoping to have my body recovered by next week in hopes that the side effects are the same.
Other news: Ryan's new project is an upgraded batting cage, and a (mini) waterfall! Kai and cousin Chase are playing in the championship for machine pitch baseball (he's excited which makes it fun), Rylin is going to volleyball camp with me and softball camp at BYU this week, Hunter and Ripken just go from game to game. Today is the first day in my life I put on a 50 SPF sunscreen! Can you believe it? I took the kids to the pool and tried to stay shaded, but still got burned. Me with 50 SPF sunscreen, what is going on ?!! I feel like Shane Belliston.
Thanks to Hacking family for the greatest gift: maid service, what a great idea!

4th Chemo:
It is now the Monday after treatment. I hate to write anything before now because I don't want to sound like a whiner. It was not bad, by Sunday afternoon I feel pretty good. Today I feel normal. Next round will be a different drug and the side effects should also be different, most say it is better so we'll see.
Ryan is done with baseball season, he is recruiting and doing camps and I am done with school. Life is slowing down a little bit. Ryan has been good to stick around and take care of everything like a single parent. We still stay busy with the kids, now I just have to keep them entertained throughout the summer with pool days, park days and summer camps.
Through all of this I can already say I have learned empathy, sympathy and humbleness. You never picture yourself being the one that needs help. To accept it takes some getting used to. I really appreciate my family. My mom comes once a week, my two sister-in-laws break into my house and clean for me, and all my in-laws keep my fashionable with hats and scarves. I have a great family! I know there are people in worse situations, I just want life to be back to normal.
Huge thanks to everyone!
Love always,
ANG

ALI the best wii player ever

Ali Roberts is always so entertaining.

BYU Baseball Coach's family deals with Cancer

Highlight video from true blue sports

3rd chemo treatment

Angie had her third treatment today. She hates going into that hospital. It smells, I think it is all the old people getting treatment but she thinks it is something else. Each treatment is about two hours long. She comes home from treatment and goes right to bed. She went to sleep today at 5:00pm and didn't even want to wake up to see the Jazz loose to the Lakers. She is asleep at 12:15 still in her levi's and shirt she wore today. I woke her up to drink some water and she stared me down like she was ready to kill. After three to four days after treatment her energy picks up. She is still working everyday that she is scheduled and plans to go to work tomorrow. She is a gamer. Thanks for all the support and comments on "gossip blognation" it has been great to hear from some old friends, teammates, players, etc... we really appreciate your thoughts on our behalf.

This is some video from the locks of love program Lehi High School organized through Jaime Ingersoll and Becky White. Many of the participants were Angie's students, volleyball players, youth in our ward, and other students that Angie did not have a relationship with. In total 74 students donated to the Lock of Love.

Jokingly, I spent a few minutes looking at some blogs around what I call "gossip blognation" (I think I should trademark that one) and decided to pick some sappy music because of the many "OH MY" comments I made to myself as I looked at other blogs and what some people do and say (Ali Hamaker do not get offended it was not your blog), so I thought some corny love music would put us in the right mood.

Seriously, I can't believe the generosity and concern that has poured out for us and Angie. We have had a number of people express concern, send cards, send meals, send scarfs, send pick me up notes, etc... they all go very appreciated.

Ryan

2nd Chemo

I could try to be tough, but honestly this week sucked! Physically I feel fine, I really can't complain. The day after my second treatment I lost my hair. It just fell out in locks and all over my pillow so I had Ryan shave it. Odd emotions experienced when you have your husband shave your head bald! Hunter said I look like Kyle. (Things could be worse) My eyebrows are starting to go!! I am going to be a Q-ball! Tomorrow is the first day back at school without hair, it will be nice to get it over with. Positive side: thanks to all for the support. It is wonderful to hear from relatives and friends. I have a wonderful ward, neighborhood and family. I have some beautiful hats and scarves thanks to my sister-in-laws and I get plenty of rest thanks to my husband and family. I will try to post a before and after pictures.

Let the fun begin

Angie had her first chemo treatment today. It took around 1 1/2 hours to complete. We went to get some medicine and then she slept from 5:30 on for the rest of the night. The doc says she will most likely have 16 weeks of chemo with 8 treatments. We expect her hair will be gone within two weeks. So if you have a chance to see her new hair style she looks really really hot. We have had a ton of support and I think Kai Raass keeps making extra food for us on purpose, she has been awesome. Our freezer is full from everyone bringing food over. We assume things will be challenging in the future but as far as today goes, things are going well. For those that want to spread rumors ... Angie is doing well and I expect she will be at baseball games this weekend.

Locks of Love

Becky White and Jaime Ingersoll provided a memorable experience for students and Angie at Lehi High School. The principle at the school was against this exercise but they brought locks of love in and pink bandannas anyway. I think it would be great for everyone to send an email to the principal telling him how great these two teachers are and they should be rewarded for the extra effort. Principal Chuck Bearce at cbearce@alpine.k12.ut.us

Over 74 students cut at least 8 inches off and over 1000 students had pink bandannas on. What an amazing effort.

Tues. 4/8

First of all I have to say Ryan gets husband of the year, he has done everything!
I am feeling much better now. Chemo is scheduled for Wed., April 16th. It is good timing (spring break), so it will work out well.
Today at school was "Cancer Awareness Day". Two of my friends put it together. They delivered pink handkerchiefs to every female in the school and we read a nice little poem. Then later in the class hour, we had a video announcement stating stats with cancer and how many women chose not to have chemo because of hair loss. Then, about 15 girls cut their hair for "Locks of Love". Some of the girls I knew, some I didn't. Most had beautiful long hair. As you can imagine it was extremely emotional for them. They were crying, I was crying. As 3rd period started I had a student ask if she could be excused to go get her hair cut. She left and I followed shortly after. There was a line of girls and boys to cut their hair. We had a student with cancer there, a mom in recovery and two girls that had recently lost their mother their to help collect the hair. The total was about 70 girls and 2 boys (I think)!!! Most of my volleyball girls cut their hair. Needless to say, it was overwhelming. It was an awesome experience. I am horrible at expressing emotion, and can't thank Jamie and Becky and all the girls that donated their hair enough.
One check mark in the positive column for this life experience!

April 2 Ripken Birthday and Angie 1st surgery

http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/idc.jsp for those that want a visual with descriptions.

I am sitting at the hospital waiting for angie to come out of surgery.
We have been at the hospital since 8am and it is now 2pm sitting here waiting for the procedures to be completed.
1. Angie had X-rays on her chest
2. Angie got poked and poked with a bunch of tests
3. Angie had another mammogram
4. Angie got injected with dye (Ask Justin what it is for??????)
5. She had 5 nodes taken out of her right arm
6. Preliminary report is 3 out of 5 have no cancer in them.
7. Doc says usually!!! the first on or two will be the most concern. The first one was hot and really dark with dye which was a concern but it did not show any cancer (that is a positive)
8. Waiting to hear back on the last two nodes.
9. Angie is going to start Chemo on Monday or Tuesday and meet back with Doc in a couple of weeks.
10. Dr. Tittensor, the general surgeon put in a portacath

http://www.breastcancer.org/treatment/chemotherapy/overview/ports.jsp

(follow the link if your a interested person like Jon)

The Goal - Shrink the tumor into almost nothing with the chemo, then go in a cut out the infected tissue with a possible lumpectomy instead of full mastectomy or a skin sparing mastectomy . Do the chemo, for the next four or five months, then be cancer free for the next 73 years.

The doc said everything went well. She is a champ and I love her. Ryan

4/1 Change of plans!

Not a huge deal, but we are now going in for the port and lymph node test tomorrow (Wed). I really don't have much of a clue what this entails, I am just diving in. We'll see! I'm still going to try to sneak to Vegas without the Dr. knowing, I need to rest (by the pool) right?
Thanks for all your support. I just learned how to do this blog and read comments, pretty cool!

Dr. 3/28

Ryan's Birthday, now 34!! He's in Oklahoma trying to avoid a tornado and I went to the Dr. Not the most exciting birthday.
With the oncologist we decided to start chemo before any major surgery. The lump is so close to the muscle we are going to try to shrink it first. This option also gives her a marker. So, on April 10th the surgeon will test my lymph nodes, run a hormone test and insert a port. 3-4 days after that I will start chemo treatments. On the positive note, that means almost 2 weeks of normalcy, and NO doctors! I may try to take the kids to Vegas for Ryan's series next week. Hopefully I wont have any posts for 2 weeks, because life will only include running around for softball/baseball practice, piano, BYU games, keeping Ripken out of the toilet and off the table and lying by the pool in Vegas.

Dr. 3/27

Got an ultrasound on the left side today. Results show the lump was just a lymph node. - Good news.
Tomorrow Denise and I meet with the oncologist. She wants me to get a gene test. This test will let me know the likelihood of an occurence on the left side. If the gene test comes back positive, the likelihood of reoccurence is 89%. I would just get a double masectomy if that is the case. Unfortunately, the test takes 2-3 weeks for results, so we will just sit patiently, I don't want to go through surgery twice.
Dr. Tittensor (surgeon) called today. She reviewed all the tests and is still concerned about several calcifications in addition to the mass on the right side. I thinks she wants me to prepare for a masectomy with radiation and chemo.
We'll see?
Thanks for all your support!
We'll keep you updated.

This kid is starting to remind me of Kai more and more everyday. Looks like Kai, gets into stuff like Kai, but he talks and laughs unlike Kai who was so stone faced and quiet. Trouble is on the way I am sure.

My Marv from Home Alone Impersonation

Just got done painting the basement.

Kai just turned 7

Stud!

HI everybody

this is the first post on my information super highway